former students

I've been thinking a lot lately about my former students.
Maybe only fellow teachers will understand this post.
Or maybe I'm just a weird, sentimental teacher.
But I needed to get this out and write it down.
so this is a post dedicated to my former students who I'm sure don't even know this blog exists.

Dear former Summit Academy students:

Do you know that I think about you almost daily?

And when I think about you as individuals, I feel a pang deep in my heart.

I wonder: who are you becoming? are you doing good things? are you happy? are other teenagers nice to you? do they know how awesome you are? do YOU know how awesome you are?

sometimes, while teaching new faces at a new school, I think about the fun times we shared.

As I form new relationships with new students, I often think about the special chemistry each class had, and I hope that I can create something that special with these kids, too.

Sometimes, I'll mistake a student in the hall for one of you.

And for a split second my heart skips a beat, a smile spreads across my face--and then the realization kicks in: of course it's not you! 

But for a brief second it felt like being reunited with old friends.

Sometimes, when I'm out of my comfort zone, or things just aren't going how I wish they would, I wish it would be one of your familiar faces smiling back at me from one of those desks.

Sometimes I think about those of you who caused me extra headaches and stress--and sometimes when I'm faced with a new teenage punk, I wish it were you, instead of this new one.

At least I knew how to deal with you. ;)

 I really think that you lot will always fill a special place in my heart.

You were my first guinea pigs, the causes of my first stresses, my first classroom laughs, the causes of my first cries, my first learners.

I think about the one who noticed me crying on my own and took the time to stop in and sincerely ask me if everything was okay.

I think about the one who was defensive when someone said something inappropriate about me.

I think about the one who talked to me about his family that was falling apart.

I think about the one who always smiled--no matter what was happening.  Thank you for that.

I think about the one who told me about the heartache over his mother passing away.
I think about the ones who brought me food during lunch.
I think about the one who cried to me when her boyfriend broke up with her.
I think about the one who always shouted out the funniest/inappropriate answers to every question.
I think about the one could make me laugh with the stupidest funny face.
I think about all of you.
And I miss you.
Mostly because I've slowly come to the sad realization that I'll probably never see you all again.
I want you to know that you impacted my life more than you know.
I hope I can raise teenagers to be as kind, clever, and sweet as you are.
But I mostly hope that you are happy. 
I hope that good things come to all of you.
I hope that you will never forget the fun times we had.
I really do love you (in the most appropriate way a teacher can love her students).

Thank you for the memories and for helping me become a better teacher.