7.15.2013

nice to meet you, cramps.

You probably shouldn't read this post if you use the phrase "TMI" consistently in your vocabulary....
Or if you just really don't care to know that much about me. Good luck!

One thing I seriously hate: taking birth control pills.
why?
A. I always forget to take them.
B. I always forget to bring them on vacation.
C. I always forget to take them. 
D. When I forget to take them, it makes me a paranoid mess.

So I decided to get an IUD.
And less than 2 hours ago, ba-da-bing--I am now IUD certified.
aka...I gotsss one.

The doctor told me to take two prescribed pills six hours before the procedure.
An hour after taking them--BAM.
cue the massive cramps and nausea.
Hey, all you girls...ready to hate me?
I NEVER get cramps.
I didn't even know what they felt like until 8am this morning.
And I was ready to DIE.
I'm pretty sure these were really extreme--but what do I know?
But seriously. It was miserable.

As I sat in the waiting room, I was really hating my life.
I kept asking myself, "Self, why are you willingly doing this to yourself? YOU hurt! And the next 20 minutes aren't about to be a walk in the park.  More like a stampede in a cave--a very small and sensitive cave."
These were my texts to Taylor as I anxiously waited:


Okay--the insertion.
It really wasn't as bad as I thought...BUT there were four distinct moments that I was ready to punch someone.
My doctor would say, "Okay, here comes a cramp."
And then---UGHHHH aksdjhkajfhakjdnfdhsbfsljg
Is it right that a doctor can "give" you a cramp?
I was a little chatterbox the whole time, because I was trying to distract myself.
I found out her kids go to Orem high--is it weird that one of my students could be the child of my OBGYN?
Student: "Mrs. Gilbert is my history teacher."
Mom: "Oh! Mrs. Gilbert is one of my patients. I inserted a IUD in her last week! She had a really curvy cervix--which made the insertion difficult."
Awesome.

Well--now the cramping from insertion has begun.
And for the rest of the day, I plan to lay on the couch and watch movies, whilst cuddling my ibuprofen bottle.
Man alive--fellow girls--how do you live with cramps every month?

oh, hey, love this girl:
she always makes me laugh.

Yay for no more pills!
but boo for crampy crampy crampy ick.

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