a teacher rant

I've got a few pet peeves as a teacher.  And five of them are these precious little questions that I get asked about 28372847 times a day. 

At the end of the term, these questions seem to come in at record speed.

and I'm about ready to pound my head into my desk.

really.

so I'm finally venting.

and I think I'm going to make a poster next year with these five questions on it--complete with the sarcastic answer that I can't help but give.

and anytime someone asks me one of these little questions, I will point at the poster and walk away.

because. oh. my. gosh.

I really might strangle a student if I get any more of these today. 

because! come on, you sixteen year olds!

don't you see that this annoys me?

I literally hurt on the inside just typing these questions up--I feel like I am reliving the annoyance all over again.

Student: Are we doing anything fun today?

Me: No. I actually planned the whole lesson today with the thought, "How can I make this lesson absolutely boring?" I'm so excited to teach today!

Student: I was sick last class--did I miss anything?

Me: Actually, we sat around and cried the entire time you were gone! We missed you SO much that we didn't do a single thing!

Student: What's my grade right now?

Me: Oh, I'm so glad you asked! I spend my evenings memorizing all 240 grades after each new assignment is put into the computer!

Student: Are we taking notes today?

Me: No! In fact, I am going to teach you a whole bunch of history and you ARE NOT ALLOWED to take a single note! The test will be in two weeks! Aren't you guys so lucky? No notes! Good luck on the test!

Student: What will my grade be after I turn in this missing assignment?

Me: Let me sit here and calculate in my head exactly how this 20 point assignment will affect your grade, since the assignment category is 25% of your grade.  Okay, got it. Your grade will either stay the same, go down, or go up.

any other people out there in teacher-land feel my pain on these?

and look at this!

these are all of my UNCOLLECTED no-names from the term!

I had to throw them all away!

hey little kidlets--don't you care that you did work and got zero credit for it!?

it hurt my heart to throw it all away.

and WHAT, WHAT is in the spring air?

like, seriously--are there extra hormones floating around?

I really think a real scientific experiment needs to be done on this.

and I will fund it with my extra large teacher salary.

because as soon as spring hits--BAM.

everyone is antsy, and chatty, and flirty, and touchy, and "oh. my. goodness, she said what!?"

 and I just give them my best pitty look and think, "man, I'm so glad I'm not in high school anymore."

and yesterday, we were talking about pearl harbor, and I was comparing part of it to 9/11.

then a student asks, "How old were you when 9/11 happened?"

I almost answered, until I stopped and said, "Oh you tricky little devils."

you see, I have this weird, weird thing, where I don't like them to know how old I am.

and they are always trying to guess and find sneaky ways to trick me into telling them.

because I think they might fall over when they learn I'm not even that much older than them, and I have this weird fear that they will lose respect for me.

I guess it's not as bad now, but when I first started teaching, I was only 2 years older than my senior classes!

that definitely stayed on the DL.

but as much as they annoy me, I love them.

and I love how gullible and easily fooled they are.

like one time, I texted the whole class at the same time in the middle of their test

(I use remind101.com, where they can sign up and I can send HW reminders to them and such)

all of their phones buzzed at once--and they all looked around SO confused.

and the few that actually looked at their phone, saw that I had given them the answer to #17.

because gosh guys, I can be nice sometimes, too.

ha!

well if you read this whole rant, high five!

today is finally wednesday!

and my legs are sore from an insane hilllyyyy run yesterday.

and despite this all, I love my job.

happy wednesday!

a weekend and a puppy

Had a pretty great weekend catching up with my best friends from the school I taught at last year.

I miss working with these girls SO much.

and one of them just got the cutest little puppy.

just look at its cute little face!

also, do you like our solution for a "group" picture? 

it was the best we could come up with, since there was no self-timer and no one to take our picture. ha

the rest of the weekend was complete with lots of reading, sleeping, and watching modern family with my cutie taylorray.

taylor got me hooked on this show, and we are currently going through all of the seasons.

i'm loving it!
don't know why in the world I never watched it until now.

any one else watch it?

on a less-happy note...

I have been doing a sugar fast with my sisters for the past week.

two weeks to go!

the only hard part for me is the weekend!

I'm generally pretty good during the week--limiting myself to zero weekday desserts and making sure not to buy any "sweet snacks" for when I'm hungry.

but last night--ugh, it was so hard.

then I decided to make banana ice cream--best sweet-craving-killer ever!

because it tastes just like creamy ice cream!

so if you ever have those sweet-cravings coming, here's what you do:

put some sliced bananas in your freezer right now--so you're prepared when the cravings hit

(just stick them in a ziplock)

when you're ready for some goodness, blend the bananas together.

I like putting a little bit of skim milk in mine to make it a little creamier.

(aaaand if you forget to freeze your banana, you can always just throw some ice in the blender)

and wala!

enjoy your banana ice cream!

join me on the next two weeks of the sugar fast! you won't regret it!

xoxo

happy monday!

a bunch of nothing + an incident with a bra

#1. I posted this a few months ago--but if you haven't tried it, you NEED to.

it is SUCH a good workout!

I hadn't done it for a whole month, so on Wednesday, I decided to give it a whirl again.

and man! I forgot the goodness that it brings.

#2. LOVE this post by bonnie on her blog.

all about being excited for others' accomplishments--and most importantly, being okay with bragging about your OWN! head on over to her blog and take a look.

#3. um--ready for a slightly funny but extremely embarrassing story?
so I went tanning for the first time in forever the other day.
I had just finished getting dressed after tanning, when I realized that I somehow forgot to put my bra on.
how does that happen?
ugh--but I was too lazy to take off my two layers of tops, so instead, I just tucked it halfway into my pants.
I wasn't planning on going anywhere after tanning, and didn't really want to walk out with a bra in hand, and so this seemed like a good idea?
wellll on my way home, I remembered that I needed to go to target.
annnd, I conveniently forgot that I had a bra tucked into my pants.
so here I go, walking into target (braless and everything!).
In one of the aisles, I bend down to pick something up, and guess what falls out of my pants?
you got it.
a silver shimmery bra.
and don't you worry. it was just me + three other guys in the aisle.
awesome.
I realized it looked like I was maybe trying to steal the bra?
so I stupidly said, "ohhh, don't worry, it's mine! just forgot to put it on!"
and the confusion on their faces? priceless.
I can just hear their thoughts, "sooo, the reasonable solution was to stick it in your pants?"
yeah, it makes no sense, boys.
i'm with you.
the next time I forget to put my bra on after tanning, I will proudly hold that bra in my hand as I walk out of the tanning salon.
OR maybe, I'll just actually take the time to put it on.

#4. Last night, I got to help run a caucus! 

I wasn't super familiar with the caucus system (since they don't use it in cali), but it was interesting to see the inner-workings of it after studying about caucuses while getting my poli-sci degree.

there's something so motivating about watching a community come together to vote.

makes me pretty proud to be an American!

#5. I am just SO happy it's FRIDAY!

tonight, I get to go to a get-together with all of my teacher-friends from my old school.

I can't tell you how excited I am to see all of them!

^can you tell I had a bunch of granola in my mouth when this picture snapped? wasn't quite ready for it--but eh, it's friday! anything goes.

and I was too lazy to try round 2.

and also.

another selfie-in-my-classroom to add to my collection.

it's the end of the term today.

and surprisingly, this end-of-term has not been as crazy as previous ones.

no tears, rants, or even threats this term!

...I guess we'll see if I can still say that by 2:15 today.

p.s. looking for some good book recommendations! please share!

what are you doing this weekend?

xoxo

a hair story?

it's thursday.

I woke up with a stuffy nose.

and my body is sore from a hardcore workout last night.

and it's just...one of those days. 

you feel me?

but today is good because of two little things:

#1. wearing new clothes always makes the day just a little bit better.

#2. my hair is finallllyyy starting to feel a little bit long since my drastic cut.

oh, wait, don't remember the cut of 18 months ago?

exhibit A:

long hair, don't care, look at those curls!

(yes, i'm envious of my own hair.)

because, two weeks after this photoshoot, I did this:

exhibit B:

talk about drastic!

and the first week, when I cried everyday, it just made me cry harder when people said, "the short hair looks cuter than the long hair!"

because. what. are. you. saying.

that I was reallllyyy ug-ug hideous before?

because i felt pretty ug-ug-hideous right after the cut.

why did I do something so drastic!?

and now, I look back and think--yeah, maybe the short hair does look better! haha

okay, but nowww, I brush my hair, and I am happy that I can brush for at least two seconds before there is no more hair to brush.

and that's exciting.

high five me people!

(yep, I definitely cut taylor out of that picture...but I left his creepy red eye.)

yay for growing hair and for things that are really trivial and don't matter at all!

so...what do you think? short? medium? long?

what suits me?

a little film :)

another motherhood series I filmed for my sister while I was in kansas.

isn't this family precious?

xoxo

weekend wrap up

1. on friday night, taylor and I met with a tax-guy to figure out our taxes.  

with taylor starting his own business last year, taxes were 10x more complicated.

 plus, we knew there were a lot of deductions we could use--and we wanted to make sure we were doing it right. 

so goodbyeeee to simple taxes. 

hellooo really complicated and expensive taxes! 

yeah, uh, remember last year when taylor and I got a $4,000 tax refund? 

that was the best day.

 and now--we owe taxes. ha! 

BUT considering the amount was $8,000 LESS than what we had calculated--it was a gooooood night! when we were driving home, we were on cloud nine--i could have kissed that tax-guy's feet--he's a genius! 

the first thing taylor said was, "sooo--we've got an extra $8,000. what can we get for $8,000?" haha!
don't worry--we're saving it ;)

2. okay. wait. maybe we didn't save allll of it. 

on saturday, I went with my two favorite little sisters to park city to shop the best outlets in the world.
and HELLO. 

I really hope you all got your cute little butts to banana and gap this weekend--40% off of everything--plus, the whole store was already 50% off! 

(and it included already discounted items, too!)

So I got some killaaaa deals. like I still get giddy thinking about it. 

and maybe I went a little overboard?

butttt it was so hard not to when I was holding a $60 skirt that was only $13!

or a $45 shirt for only $8!

so of course, I had to get one in every color, right!?

and plus, I saved $8,000 the night before! 

(ha, kidding about that part...a little.)

but rest assured.

I have three bags of clothes I don't really wear anymore, that I'm ready to sell online or give away.

that was taylor's rule: one article of clothing in, one article of clothing out.
DEAL, babe.

best. deal. ever. 

3. I got a massage on saturday night--and it was extremely disappointing.

you see, I like a massage.

not a "let me try to get every single knot out of your back and neck and try really painful techniques and make you bruised after the massage" kind of thing.

i'm sure some people love that.

but, eh. just massage me!

(okay--i'll admit now--best part of the massage is always the glutes! if you're the kind of person that always says no when asked if you want your glutes done, promise me right now that you will say YES next time and I promise you won't regret it.)

4. signed up for another half-marathon in april! gonna kill it!

5. okay. stahhhp.

this guy--and his trendy glasses.

he kills me. 

it still makes me upset that he can pull them off, and I can't.

(he wouldn't let me get a picture of him this morning--but I snapped one anyway!)

oh, and uh. he definitely has a woman's pair of glasses that look killer on him. ha!

and, you guessed it! they look horrible on me.

something is seriously wrong with that.

6. happyyy monday! three weeks until spring break!

five5five5

teaming up with christina and gang for five on friday!

#1. after my traumatic incident this week, I am SO ready for the weekend.

#2. loving this new necklace--california girl + utah boy= some mad love ovaaa here!

(I actually ordered both the california & utah necklace, and then just combined them on the same chain.)

#3. taylor has been a little homemaker lately. he's gotten into this new "juicing" fad--and I am loving waking up to some fresh juice every morning! 

#4. this week I am teaching fascism--which wouldn't be complete without some fine quality mustaches, right?

just doing my best to pull off the evil dictator look.

plus, I made all of my students make a mustache and wear it during the lecture.

it made for a pretty humorous day.

annnd, today, all of my classes are meeting with the counselors to go over next-year-classes...so I have an entire day to sit in an empty classroom?

sounds pretty nice.

but also, just a little bit boring.

looks like I'll be spending my day with pam, dwight, and jim. thumbs up.

come be my friend.

#5. taylor and I have some big decisions weighing on us right now, and it's so hard to know what the right decision is sometimes. but even through the stress, I'm glad I've got such a great partner through the process.  wouldn't want to be making decisions with anyone else but my little hunk of a husband.

happy friday! xoxo

because i love five little people in kansas

apparently March has kicked my blogging butt!

sorry for being MIA, but man! March has been good to me.

Last week, I spent an extra long weekend in Kansas with my sister and her adorable family.

I planned the trip with her husband, and she had no idea I was coming!

It was pretty funny when she walked downstairs Thursday morning--and there I was! just sitting on her couch!

We did so many fun things!

saw so many church sites, ate lots of ice cream, did a session at the winter quarters temple (!!!), talked about life, and laughed a lot!

oh, and the best part was finally getting to cuddle the adorable little humans pictured above.

I love those little kids like you wouldn't believe.

Oh, AND, I got to check four states off of my "states I've been to list"

kansas, missouri, iowa, nebraska!

my heart already misses this beautiful family so much--but at least this time we won't have to wait two years to see each other again!

counting down to July when I am reunited with them once again!

thanks for treating me right, kansas!

xoxo

today, my student had a seizure.

I had an experience today that is a little difficult for me to relive.

as much as I try to force them away, the images keep swarming through my mind on repeat.

it was 3rd period, 30 minutes before lunch.

I had just started a 10 minute Dave Ramsey clip for my financial literacy class.

A couple of minutes after sitting down at my desk, I heard a strange sound.

At first I was confused where it was coming from--students' heads were turning around, also trying to decipher the location of the sound.

and then I saw the source of the noise--it was one of my student's.

immediately I knew there was something wrong with this student, apart from the inhuman noise coming out of him, it was obvious his body was unusually stiff.

I ran to his desk, and had him in my arms just as his body started to violently shake with seizures.

I started saying his name as I tried to bring him down to the floor.

mind you, I was easily half the size of this student.

But by undoubted divine power, I was able to lift his whole upper body with one arm, while moving desks out of the way with another, as I brought him to the ground.

There were 20 other students staring wide-eyed at the scene in front of them.

It all seems like a blur now--but I yelled to the students to run for help.

I held the boy's head and looked down to see foam (for lack of a medical term?) start to come out of his mouth.

shortly after, blood was coming from his nose.

My fingers cannot do justice in attempting to explain my fear during this moment.

Being the only adult in the room, feeling so responsible, and yet, so helpless at the same time was an overwhelming thought, to say the least.

I watched his body shake and suddenly had the impression to turn him to his side (which, I later learned that this decision helped him to breathe).

I continued to yell instructions at the students in the room.

I was too afraid to meet their gaze--the fear in their own eyes must have been paralleled in my own.

Then his body and lips started to turn gray, blue, and then purple.

It happened within seconds.

The gurgling had stopped and his body was still.

I couldn't feel a heartbeat.

It seemed like hours that I was waiting for help--when I'm sure it was only over a minute.

I could hardly keep myself together--I felt so incredibly helpless holding this student in my arms.

Finally, help came.

They, too, could not find a heartbeat.

As more help filed in, I left the student's side to round up the rest of my class.

And I'll be the first to admit that I failed at this next part as a teacher:

I probably should have said some encouraging words to the rest of my class as we stood outside in the hall.

But instead, I wrapped my arms around my shaking body and willed myself not to cry in front of these students.

Not crying was the only way I could try to be brave.

I knew if I started talking, I would fall apart.

So I stood there in silence with the rest of them.

And I didn't try to hide the fact that I was saying a prayer right in that hallway, leaned against the lockers, with 20 eyes laid on me--praying for this sweet student and also thanking my Heavenly Father for the help I received.

The paramedics came (a sight you never want to see in your classroom!), and were able to help the student regain his consciousness. 

Thankfully, after a few tests, the student's results were all normal, and he was able to be wheeled off in a wheelchair.

As things started to calm down, the principal kept patting me on the back telling me I did "exactly what I should have done" and that I "did such a great job!"

I would nod and give a small smile, but really all I kept thinking was, "A great job? How can you say that? I was so helpless. I had no idea what I was doing."

That feeling of absolute helplessness is one that is difficult to describe.

As soon as everyone had cleared out, I called Taylor and just sobbed.

I had been trying to hold it together in front of everyone--but I was absolutely terrified and traumatized.

A couple of hours later, I started looking online about seizures.

There were a few websites that said, "Seizures are really not a big deal."

And all I could think was, "Really? You try being the only adult in the room (with really no first aid training), with 20 other students staring at you, and then say that again!"

Some people kept saying, "Well hey, you'll be super prepared for the next one!"

And maybe I'm still just traumatized, but I think..."uh, no.  I will never be prepared to see what I saw again."

It really seems like years ago that this happened--and it was only eight hours ago!

I'll admit, I'm still shaken up (in fact, I am shaking as I relive this by writing this post).
But while I was on my run today, I found peace in the fact that even though I felt so alone, I was not really alone during this experience--there was divine help and inspiration in my classroom today, and I will not deny it.

There are so many things to be grateful for today--where do I even begin?

the secret!

so the secret from yesterday?

this:

I flew into Kansas last night to surprise my sister who I haven't seen in TWO years!

Which is why I couldn't blog about it!

But I have been bursting with excitement!

I finally got to squeeze my cute niece and nephews!

and her FACE when she saw me! so funny! haha!

my heart is literally bursting with joy!

more fun posts to come!

kansas is about to see a real good time with us two daredevils finally reunited!

one thing on my mind.

I've sat in front of this blank page multiple times today--but there's only ONE thing on my mind right now, and I can't even talk about it!

I feel like I have been keeping wayyy too many secrets lately (exciting ones).

and for me, that is possibly one of the hardest things to do.

(okay, wait. I'm a good serious-secret-keeper. but exciting secrets? totally different story.)

I have constant butterflies in my stomach today--which is probably one of the reasons that I can't come up with a good blog post.

and, I know, I know, you're thinking, "really? you are annoying. why would you ramble on about a secret you have and then not say anything?"

possibly THE most annoying thing a person can do.

I feel like michael scott a little though...ha.

BUT if you follow me on instagram, I'll spill the secret tonight.

and if you don't, feel free to follow along!

(um. p.s. I'm not pregnant. in fact, this secret is probably only exciting to me. and one other person. ha)

OKAY, okay--I can't very well have a whole post that results in complete frustration for everyone--sooo, how about something that may or may not make you laugh?

possibly one of the funniest things I've seen was watching Taylor try to figure out a way to mount our gopro.

he so badly wanted to capture time-lapses of this super fun board game we were playing with our siblings on sunday night.

it would have been a pretty cool video.

too bad that five seconds into figuring out a way to mount it--the gopro died. HA

it was seriously funny.

okay, maybe you had to be there.

but that guy!

man, he makes me laugh every day.

and also...he's such a good kisser! ;)

double bonus.

the day i was tackled in my classroom.

last week, in the middle of my lecture, a student walked in.

I initially thought it was an office aid sent to give me a note.

but then...the face looked so familiar.

I blinked a few times to get my contacts focused--I wasn't sure whether to believe my eyes or not!

And then I hear, "Gilbiieeee! 

And three boys were suddenly running towards me at full force.

They tackled me in bear hugs (in front of a very confused audience of students).

It was some of my students from my old school!

My eyes immediately started to water as I hugged those dear boys!

I told them to wait in the back of the room while I finished the last five minutes of my lecture and got my class started on an activity.

but I could hardly focus during those last five minutes! 

I was so excited to catch up with these kids and find out what new and exciting thing they had going on in their lives.

these students were some of my first guinea pigs--and I think it makes it all the more sentimental.

I got to chat with these boys for a good 10 minutes--and it was the best.

it's amazing how, as a teacher, you care SO much about your students' futures.

super grateful for such a rewarding job!

thanks for visiting me, boys!

we went to brian regan!

on friday night, we got to see brian regan live!

it was THE best night!

so much laughter and so much fun!

^cutest forever-date award goes to that handsome guy right there!^

we went with some of our dearest friends!

we love these two.

we all just laughed the entire night.

 ^look how cute my dear friend is! so fun to finally catch up!^

OH and I can't forget to tell you why I am 10x smarter from this weekend.

my sister, jamie, and I drove down to Logan to see my sister-in-law, regan, up at USU.

(I also finallyyyy got to shop at bella me--a boutique I've been insta-stalking for the last couple of months. I got the cutest clothes---winnnna!)

it was so fun to spend an afternoon with my two favorite "little" sisters!

and still hitting myself for not getting any pictures--boo.

while on the drive back home, jamie and I were seeing how many u.s. presidents we knew in order.

we knew a fair amount, but then somehow decided to memorize all of them (first&last name).

and THEN we memorized which number each president is.

So for example, if you threw "#18" or "#29" at me, I could tell you exactly which president it is.

(Grant & Harding, of course ;))

We were having so much fun, that we decided to memorize all of the states in alphabetical order.

And THEN memorize every capital (which was fairly easy since we knew all but about 10).

yes, I'm a history teacher--and I just now memorized all of the states and capitals.

my little fifth grade mind just couldn't remember all of them from when I had to memorize them at 10 years old.

so look at us! we are little geniuses.

(except for the part when I drove the wrong way on a one-way street in SLC--that was fun.)

and we found the best way to roadtrip.

the time goes by SO fast.

and you feel smart.

double bonus.

#22. Grover Cleveland. ;)