6.02.2016

38 weeks.

I clearly haven't been the best at updating our blog this year.
I half blame it on teaching AP Government--that really took over so much of my life.
BUT, my AP kids ROCKED their AP test--they all felt so great after it, so I can't wait to see their results!

But now, here I am...in such a different phase of everything.
I have so many different emotions constantly running through me lately, that I sometimes don't know how to wrap my mind around everything.

First, my teaching career has officially come to a close.
I really don't think it's quite hit me yet.
I think once fall starts, and everyone is going back to school (and I'm not), it will really start to sink in.
But the last few days were definitely emotional.
I kept pushing emotions back and focusing on my "to-do" list as senior class advisor (graduation, end of year activities, etc.), so that I wouldn't have to really think about it.
But last Thursday, I stood at the front of my empty classroom.
I looked at the empty desks, bare walls, and boxes waiting to be packed into my car.
And I just stood there.
And stood there.
And thought about all of the students that had sat in those desks.
I thought of the laughs we shared.
The things we learned together.
The faces and emotions I saw standing in front of that classroom every day.
And the tears that I had willed away the last few days started to trickle down.

I felt semi-silly just standing in the front of that empty classroom, with tears rolling down my face, but at the same time, I couldn't bring myself to walk out the door that day.
I am so incredibly grateful that I've had the last five years in the classroom.
SO grateful.
No words will ever adequately describe how I felt about my students, my career, and the way it impacted my every day life.

Second, we are at the ANY DAY mark with baby girl.
^I was gifted this cute dress by pinkblush maternity.  It definitely makes the belly look a lot bigger than it actually is haha^

I have LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED being pregnant.
Seriously adored every second.
I have also been incredibly lucky...not too much over here symptom-wise.
For the last few weeks, so many people have said, "Are you just so ready to be done and get that baby out?"
And I never really know how to answer, because OF COURSE we are so excited to meet her, but I am pretty dang happy with her in my tummy.
And as much as I really am ready for her big entrance, I am perfectly happy carrying her for another two weeks!
BUT how freaking crazy is it to think that I will be a MOM in no more than THREE WEEKS!? (my doctor won't let me go a week over due-date)
Really, really cannot grasp that thought.

Sometimes I try to just sit and think about her and what life will be like with her, but my mind literally cannot grasp the fact that she will be here so soon.
This phase is so weird.

Taylor is getting beyond excited, which is probably the most darling thing ever.
And I can officially say that we are READY for baby to come.
The nursery is 99.99% complete (waiting for one more thing in the mail, and then I'll post pictures!)
I find Taylor sitting in the nursery during his lunch, and it melts my little heart.
All of her clothes are washed and put away.
Our hospital bags are packed.
My long-list of to-do items for the house is complete.
The bassinet is set up by our bed.
We are READY.

Except at the same time, I find myself constantly asking, "Am I really ready?"
And the answer is NO.
The thought of being a mom terrifies me...I feel so inadequate.
But the love I feel for our little baby is the one constant reassurance.
Oh, she will be so very, very loved.

so the big question...will I blog again before baby comes?
Or will I be a MOM the next time I'm blogging?
^more accurate representation of baby bump at 38 weeks today haha^

and for those that have asked...running officially stopped at 36.5 weeks.
She is way way too low for me to even attempt it anymore.
Now, I do my best to take long walks...but the lightening pain is REAL if I walk for too long.
I am already getting excited for when I'm cleared to run after delivery...and to have the cutest running buddy ever to accompany me!

AHHH life is so crazy!
But I sure am in love with this little life of ours!

5 comments:

  1. Ahh I'm so excited for you guys and can't wait to see pics of your little nugget!!

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  2. You look great!! Congrats on finishing a (final) successful year! Can I just tell you how much I have loved reading about your passion for teaching and your students for the past few years? I think if we had a few more you's, the education system would be a way better place. I'm sad that you're leaving it but excited for your new adventure!! Here's hoping for another update before baby, but if not, that's okay too. I'll just follow along on instagram. ;)

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  3. You are so dang cute. I seriously love that dress so much. And your bump is perfect! Haha I'm pretty sure mine will be like twice as big by 38 weeks! But I can't wait to see your cute girl and her nursery! :D Good luck with everything coming up!

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  4. I can't believe you're almost there!!! So excited for you!

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  5. AH!! That dress! Your belly! You're freaking perfect. I am so excited to "meet" baby girl!!!! So thankful you had the last 5 years in the classroom, but now! Onto the next chapter!! ;) yay!

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