my pregnancy woe

my whole pregnancy, there is only ONE thing I have feared:

developing the rare but incredibly dreaded PUPPP rash.

(go look it up...it will scare you HA)

the only cure? delivery.

my sister, marci, developed it when she was pregnant with her first.

I remember distinctly how miserable she was--I've maybe never seen anyone that miserable in my entire life.

But the rash is incredibly rare, and neither my oldest sister nor my mom developed the rash.

Plus, it's more common if you're expecting a boy.

So I thought I was in the clear...

Almost two weeks ago Tuesday, I noticed the first signs of it.

My mom was in town visiting, and I yelled for her to come into my bathroom and look at it.

She reassured me that it may not be PUPPP, and not to get freaked out yet.

But the itch started...and slowly, my rash started to spread.

Luckily, it spread very slowly and very mildly for the first few days.

Mine was mostly presenting itself in a hive-like bump form.

It started on my stomach, and then spread down my legs and my arms.

The first few days weren't too bad--annoying, but not miserable.

But last week was BAD.

I tried so hard not to complain when anyone asked me about it.

But the only thing I could do all week was lie in bed, mostly unclothed, with a fan directly on me 24/7.

Marci literally started crying for me when she found out I had it...it's that bad.

You wouldn't wish it on your worst enemy.

Marci gave me some tricks to help temporarily relieve the incredible itch--the itch that has your skin bloody and your mind insane.

I've been using a special soap, Grandpa's Pine Tar Soap, that leaves me smelling like I just went camping when I get out of the shower. HA

And LOTS of Benadryl.

Marci was so fearful of developing the rash her second pregnancy, that she did lots of research beforehand on anything else that might help it.

She read that midwives had suggested dandelion root pills, and she was ready to try it if it came back around for her on round 2.

Luckily, she was spared.

But she told me to try the pills.

I really am crediting part of my recent recovery on those pills.

Last Wednesday-Friday may have been just about three of the most miserable days I've experienced.

Lying in bed ALL day ALL week literally made me go insane.

But there was really no other option for comfort's sake.

I was lonely, frustrated, and miserable.

I cried myself to sleep multiple nights, pleading with Heavenly Father to release me from the intolerable pain and itch.

Taylor was so sweet and did whatever he could do to help me while he was home.

Friday was my lowest low.

I cried and cried and felt myself slipping into a dark depression.

Something I've really never experienced before.

The thing that kept me from falling was knowing that my two sisters were on their way in from CA and would be there that night.

And then when I needed it most, I received a text from someone I love and admire.

Someone who had no idea what I was going through.

She told me she was thinking of me, that she had put my name on the prayer roll, and that she felt that I needed extra angels surrounding me.

Cue immediate sobbing.

But this time, the sobbing was filled with a different type of tear.

It was filled with a peace of knowing that Heavenly Father heard me and knew me and someone else was listening to divine intuition for my sake.

Friday evening I received a priesthood blessing from Taylor and my brother.

And Saturday, something was different.

I was able to wear clothes almost all day! ...this was BIG! ha

The itch was there, but I wasn't miserable.

Today was even more relief.

The hives are slowly fading.

My mind is back!

I'm not going insane!

I'm scared to completely believe that it's going away without returning, but the hives are only present in a few spots now...the rest has faded, and my skin is my skin again.

For having an extremely easy pregnancy for 37.5 weeks, it's hard to complain too much, but anyone who has had PUPPP or has known someone with it, knows that there is nothing to compare it to.

Utter misery.

At 39 weeks and 3 days, I am hoping I am spared for the last bit of my pregnancy.

I am praying that I'm the last woman to ever ever ever get this rash (HA).

And we are really praying that baby girl is ready to come on out.

My doctor had me believing I would have her last week, but now I'm losing hope.

Whooo knows when she'll make her little debut.

For now, I am counting my every day blessings.

So much to be grateful for.

One more big step to go before our lives are changed forever.