I feel like I've had to start every blog post by apologizing for being MIA.
the truth comes down to something really simple: I received a really hurtful and mean comment on my blog a few months back, and I took it really personally.
From a simple text from a good friend last night, I realized how stupid it was to let it stop me from sharing my stories.
So only two thoughts on the matter, and then I'm letting it go completely:
1. cyber bullying is a real thing & it actually does HURT
2. BE NICE TO EVERYONE
OKAY. Back to life!
If you follow me on instagram, you know that we found out that baby gilbie is a GIRLLLL!
taylor was seriously over the moon.
he was hoping and praying and dreaming of a girl.
kind of the cutest thing.
I honestly didn't have any feeling either way.
there was a week period where I kinda thought "boy," but the day we actually found out, I was really thinking it was a girl.
We had our ultrasound and it was the best ultrasound ever!
baby actually looked like a baby!
and she was kicking around the ENTIRE time.
like there is nothing weirder than watching that baby kick her legs, and knowing "that is literally happening inside of me" and yet, I can't feel a single thing. HA
we happen to know our ultrasound tech, so he totally spoils us!
he let us get the early ultrasound for free, gave us a free DVD, and gave us the longest ultrasound EVERR.
it was the BEST.
we told him to write the gender on a piece of paper and then I immediately took that paper to a little boutique and picked out a little boy stuffed animal bunny and a little girl stuffed animal bunny.
I took the "secret gender" and both bunnies to the counter, paid for one of them (they were the same price, so it didn't matter), and then left the store while they opened the card and wrapped one of the bunnies.
The clerks were so cute and excited for me.
(^ignore my tired face...I was literally crying on a bench while I waited to go back into the store because I just could not believe what life is. To see that little baby moving around inside of me was one of the coolest things EVER ever EVER.)
BUT MAN. it was hard just sitting outside waiting!
And having that bag in the car on the way home...AHHH.
luckily, patience won, and we waited for our dearest family and friends to come over (and facetimed my california family) while we opened the present!
I made Taylor open it, because I was a nervous MESS.
and as soon as I saw a little pink tutu, I LOST it.
and I will admit that when everyone left, I balled like a baby.
and NOT because of excitement, because of PURE PURE PURE fear.
For some reason, a girl seemed sooo much scarier and real than a boy!
And I just felt so inadequate and scared and so many feels. ha
Taylor was the sweetest and gave me the sweetest blessing.
and wow. God is good.
p.s. that pink bunny sleeps with us every night. taylor is obsessed.
also, my opinion on gender reveal parties:
if you're like me and have been battling about whether to do one or not, I have some advice.
I actually didn't totally want to do one; I wanted to find out with just me and tay.
but we also knew how much it would mean to some of our family to let them be a part of it.
while I was deciding, I asked around to some other moms and heard that (depending on your ultrasound tech), it can be really awkward and not necessarily "celebratory" in the ultrasound room...since the tech doesn't know you and they reveal genders every day as their job.
so we finally decided to do a little reveal...and it was soooo much more fun than I thought!
Having the extra wait, and KNOWING it was right there was like the best christmas eve EVER.
and so, so, so, fun to involve family + it was still SUCH a special moment between me and my tayray.
so that's my two cents on gender reveal parties!
anyways, that weekend, we immediately went shopping for baby girl gilbie!
I think taylor was ready to buy the whole store.
hahaha he was dying over every little piece.
but we took it slowwww, and picked our one favorite outfit (with the cutest little sockies)!
baby gilbie has already been spoiled so much by so many.
There are already so many things filling her empty nursery!
and in other pregnancy news:
still running as much as I can (along the best running routes in my new neighborhood)
my doctor was a little worried because I was actually losing weight for a little while, so he wanted me to cut back on the exercise.
I also have a really hard time not being competitive with myself while I run....so it's been quite the learning process to slow it down for little baby.
and I'm completely frustrated with my "bump."
I'm definitely getting a bump, but not in the way I want. ha
It just looks like chub. and it is the most awkward bump EVER.
My regular clothes don't really fit or look cute, and maternity clothes are too big for me.
and I'm really sick of the same 5 flowy shirts I've been alternating between for the last 3 weeks.
tell me...is this normal for all women?
here is my 18.5 week baby bump in all its glory.
trust me, it's awko taco.
(ALSO YAY. we finally are getting our bed this weekend!!
...aka why our mattress is on the floor HA. somehow the actual bed didn't make it at the top of our list for new furniture when we moved haha)
this whole new "body image" thing has actually been quite a challenge for me.
I think it's hard because I don't look pregnant to anyone, I had to stop running for a couple of weeks (seriously seriously hard for me), and I haven't been sick/felt baby move...so I don't feel pregnant at all, I just feel like I'm getting FAT.
but every time I cry to my mom, she tells me the bump will come and this phase will pass. HA
I am anxiously waiting for the first time I feel baby girl move.
I'm so jealous of everyone due around the same time as me who has already felt their babe!
I'm just over 19 weeks...and still nada.
but it's got to be coming soon!
and that is life as of late!
all things focused on baby girl.
we could not be more excited!
more updates from my lack of posting to come realllll soon ;)