all things baby GIRL

I feel like I've had to start every blog post by apologizing for being MIA.
the truth comes down to something really simple: I received a really hurtful and mean comment on my blog a few months back, and I took it really personally.
From a simple text from a good friend last night, I realized how stupid it was to let it stop me from sharing my stories.
So only two thoughts on the matter, and then I'm letting it go completely:
1. cyber bullying is a real thing & it actually does HURT

OKAY. Back to life!
If you follow me on instagram, you know that we found out that baby gilbie is a GIRLLLL!
taylor was seriously over the moon.
he was hoping and praying and dreaming of a girl.
kind of the cutest thing.

I honestly didn't have any feeling either way.
there was a week period where I kinda thought "boy," but the day we actually found out, I was really thinking it was a girl.

We had our ultrasound and it was the best ultrasound ever!
baby actually looked like a baby!
and she was kicking around the ENTIRE time.
like there is nothing weirder than watching that baby kick her legs, and knowing "that is literally happening inside of me" and yet, I can't feel a single thing. HA
soooo weird.

we happen to know our ultrasound tech, so he totally spoils us!
he let us get the early ultrasound for free, gave us a free DVD, and gave us the longest ultrasound EVERR.
it was the BEST.

we told him to write the gender on a piece of paper and then I immediately took that paper to a little boutique and picked out a little boy stuffed animal bunny and a little girl stuffed animal bunny.
I took the "secret gender" and both bunnies to the counter, paid for one of them (they were the same price, so it didn't matter), and then left the store while they opened the card and wrapped one of the bunnies.
The clerks were so cute and excited for me.
(^ignore my tired face...I was literally crying on a bench while I waited to go back into the store because I just could not believe what life is. To see that little baby moving around inside of me was one of the coolest things EVER ever EVER.)

BUT MAN. it was hard just sitting outside waiting!
And having that bag in the car on the way home...AHHH.
luckily, patience won, and we waited for our dearest family and friends to come over (and facetimed my california family) while we opened the present!

I made Taylor open it, because I was a nervous MESS.
and as soon as I saw a little pink tutu, I LOST it.

and I will admit that when everyone left, I balled like a baby.
and NOT because of excitement, because of PURE PURE PURE fear.
For some reason, a girl seemed sooo much scarier and real than a boy!
And I just felt so inadequate and scared and so many feels. ha
Taylor was the sweetest and gave me the sweetest blessing.
and wow. God is good.
p.s. that pink bunny sleeps with us every night. taylor is obsessed.

also, my opinion on gender reveal parties:
if you're like me and have been battling about whether to do one or not, I have some advice.
I actually didn't totally want to do one; I wanted to find out with just me and tay.
but we also knew how much it would mean to some of our family to let them be a part of it.

while I was deciding, I asked around to some other moms and heard that (depending on your ultrasound tech), it can be really awkward and not necessarily "celebratory" in the ultrasound room...since the tech doesn't know you and they reveal genders every day as their job.
so we finally decided to do a little reveal...and it was soooo much more fun than I thought!
Having the extra wait, and KNOWING it was right there was like the best christmas eve EVER.
and so, so, so, fun to involve family + it was still SUCH a special moment between me and my tayray.
so that's my two cents on gender reveal parties!

anyways, that weekend, we immediately went shopping for baby girl gilbie!
I think taylor was ready to buy the whole store.
hahaha he was dying over every little piece.
but we took it slowwww, and picked our one favorite outfit (with the cutest little sockies)!
baby gilbie has already been spoiled so much by so many.
There are already so many things filling her empty nursery!

and in other pregnancy news:
still running as much as I can (along the best running routes in my new neighborhood)
my doctor was a little worried because I was actually losing weight for a little while, so he wanted me to cut back on the exercise.
I also have a really hard time not being competitive with myself while I run....so it's been quite the learning process to slow it down for little baby.

and I'm completely frustrated with my "bump."
I'm definitely getting a bump, but not in the way I want. ha
It just looks like chub. and it is the most awkward bump EVER.
My regular clothes don't really fit or look cute, and maternity clothes are too big for me.
and I'm really sick of the same 5 flowy shirts I've been alternating between for the last 3 weeks.
tell me...is this normal for all women?
here is my 18.5 week baby bump in all its glory.
trust me, it's awko taco.
(ALSO YAY. we finally are getting our bed this weekend!!
...aka why our mattress is on the floor HA. somehow the actual bed didn't make it at the top of our list for new furniture when we moved haha)

this whole new "body image" thing has actually been quite a challenge for me. 
I think it's hard because I don't look pregnant to anyone, I had to stop running for a couple of weeks (seriously seriously hard for me), and I haven't been sick/felt baby move...so I don't feel pregnant at all, I just feel like I'm getting FAT.
but every time I cry to my mom, she tells me the bump will come and this phase will pass. HA
oh, life.

I am anxiously waiting for the first time I feel baby girl move.
I'm so jealous of everyone due around the same time as me who has already felt their babe!
I'm just over 19 weeks...and still nada.
but it's got to be coming soon!

and that is life as of late!
all things focused on baby girl.
we could not be more excited!
more updates from my lack of posting to come realllll soon ;)


  1. First, so sad to hear that you were cyber bullied. That's totally not cool. Second, I loved this post. Third, you and Tay are going to be THE BEST PARENTS EVER<3 So happy for you two!

  2. I didn't really start showing with my first until I was about 20 weeks and I didn't feel her for sure until week 24. I promise it comes and comes even faster the second time around. Congratulations! Girls are the best. :)

  3. I didnt really have a bump till about 21 weeks- you are not alone! You are the cutest and I'm so happy for you!

  4. How anyone feels the need to bully another person (especially you and your sweet, bubbly, happy self!) is just beyond me. So sorry to hear that happened to you!

    Also, can you and Taylor be any more precious?! Your baby girl is so lucky to have such awesome, loving parents!

  5. Cute!!!! I love your blog and was sad you weren't blogging! You are adorable and a fantastic writer!! Love you!! Go Orem ;)

  6. ok i'm so sorry to hear that some brat bullied you - but i hope you never take it to heart and always continue to share your stories with all of us who ADORE you :)

    i literally cannot handle how excited you and taylor are for this little girl. she is going to be SO LOVED! you two are going to be incredible parents!! i'm so thrilled for you!

  7. You are the cutest in the whole world! Girls are THE best. I was the same way as you… didn't care about the gender just wanted a healthy baby but now that I have my little girl, I just have to say that having a girl first is a real dream come true. You will love being a mom!! Loved reading this!

  8. I love this! So happy you posted it. Even though we're close enough that I know these things, the way you write it is just so adorable, and I love it! Could not be more excited for this little girl!!

  9. I'm so annoyed that anyone could say anything mean to you! I LOVE your blog! You guys are going to the best girl parents EVER! Love these sweet pictures of all your emotion. Such sweet moments!! I also recently watched the video... AMAZING!

  10. My placenta was anterior- so it was in front of my baby if that makes since. So it took me forever to feel him kick because he had to be big enough and kick hard enough that I could feel it though the placenta too! It's actually really common so don't get discourage you will feel her soon! :)

  11. I'm so sorry you've had to deal with cyberbullies. You're one of my favourite bloggers and it's always exciting when you update. :) Congrats on the baby GIRL and I can't wait to read more about your and Taylor's life as parents. <3

  12. Congratulations on your baby girl!! So exciting!

  13. this is so exciting! you guys will be such cute parents to that little girl! i hope you blog about a ton, because i love reading your blog and ugh, you'll just be the cutest, happiest mom! the bump thing is so normal. i have an almost 4 month old girl now (girls are the best!!!) and i was in the same boat. every pregnant woman goes through that awkward stage, and it gets worse before it gets better, haha! i was always under the impression that a pregnant belly would be like... hard? haha it's not. it's squishy and looks and feels like fat and it sucks, but then all of the sudden, it will look like a baby bump, and you will happily shove your "pre pregnancy" clothes aside, and maternity clothes will hug the bump so perfectly and you'll feel so cute, i promise! haha and i was the same with the movement! i think i was like, 22 weeks before i officially felt anything. but now that i look back, i'm pretty sure i had felt it a couple times before, and just didn't realize it. i feel like i could never describe how it feels to anyone, so it's hard to tell you what to look for! for me, since i was waiting to feel something, i was so overly aware of everything little thing my stomach did that even just digesting food would make me question what i was feeling. was it her?!?! haha ughh! but once you start to feel it, you'll know, and it won't go away. but my goodness, i am just so excited for you! keep blogging! (and screw that jerk that left a mean comment. so lame. they're just jealous of your cute life!) also, a lot of people are going to give you a LOT of unsolicited advice. and they will say things like "sleep while you can!" or "life will never be the same!" or make "jokes" about how you'll never sleep or go on dates or have a clean house again, and on and on theyll go.... DONT LISTEN TO THEM. It's so freaking fun. You're going to love it.

  14. everything about this is so freaking adorable. lady, i am so incredibly excited for you!!! this post is giving me MAJOR baby fever over here!

  15. ah i totally feel you!!! i'm 24 weeks and having a little girl too (so yay for girlz) but i had a hard time with my body for a while as well. i didn't get a little bump until 21 weeks and i didn't feel her move until 21 weeks either! i just felt like i was getting chunky...and that's it. especially during that awkward stage where nothing fits properly and no one can tell you're pregnant. it gets better i promise haha. one day you'll wake up with a bump and all of a sudden you'll start to feel her and then it finally seems "real". i'm so excited for you! congrats!!!

  16. You are just the cutest thing! Finding out the gender is so fun!! So excited for you and all the wonderful things to come your way! Congratulations!!